sometimes you just have to be the boss of dancing

I didn't think anyone was too dumb to serve a jail sentence until now. Paris Hilton made it 3 days until she had to be released for medical reasons, which as it turns out was a "stress-induced" HERPES OUTBREAK. I can't make this shit up, I'm not that creative. Seriously though, this story gets better, so read on.

Before even entering jail, she got owned by Sarah Silverman, and was overheard saying of Silverman, "She's a fucking bitch. I hate her." Nice comeback.

Oh yeah, and she got a cavity search. Owned.

So after being released, the plan was for her to finish her sentence in her Hollywood Hills home. Luckily, as it turns out there is a God, as well as a judge almost as cynical as yours truly.

Now, she's going back, first spending a few days at the luxurious Twin Towers medical facility (by luxurious, I mean it's a prison hospital). The best part was her screaming out "Mom! Mom!!" as she was escorted to the police cruiser.

Apparently, they will have to cancel the Paris Hilton release party they had planned for this weekend. Once again, I'm not making this up.

Check out the new background on my computer:


See, you soon, Nicole.