How to Close a Bag of Chips Without a Chip Clip
Trailer for AVP2, a.k.a. Alien Vs. Predator - Requiem (R-Rated)
8.26.2007
why did we go to costco and buy a year's supply of condoms if you're not gonna use them?
Miss South Carolina is dumb:
The Angry Video Game Nerd is chronologically confused about bad movie and video game sequel titles (harsh language):
Remind me not to read this to any of my illegitimate kids:
The Angry Video Game Nerd is chronologically confused about bad movie and video game sequel titles (harsh language):
Remind me not to read this to any of my illegitimate kids:
8.24.2007
you think i like avoiding my wife and kids to hang out with nineteen year old girls every day?
Amazing new culinary show: Dane Cooks! With guest star Chris Rock
The $500,000 bottle of beer; kind of makes you feel cheap for bitching about that Yuengling keg
An Irishman is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it. Out pops a genie. It says, "I will give you three wishes."
The man thinks awhile. Finally he says, "I want a beer that is never empty."
With that, the genie makes a poof sound and on the bar is a bottle of beer. The Irishman starts drinking it and right before it is gone, it starts to refill. The genie asks about his next two wishes.
The man says, "I want two more of these."
The $500,000 bottle of beer; kind of makes you feel cheap for bitching about that Yuengling keg
An Irishman is sitting at the end of a bar. He sees a lamp at the end of the table. He walks down to it and rubs it. Out pops a genie. It says, "I will give you three wishes."
The man thinks awhile. Finally he says, "I want a beer that is never empty."
With that, the genie makes a poof sound and on the bar is a bottle of beer. The Irishman starts drinking it and right before it is gone, it starts to refill. The genie asks about his next two wishes.
The man says, "I want two more of these."
8.23.2007
to be in a dry spell you had to have been in a wet spell
Where's Waldo: this time it's not for kids anymore. Funniest thing you'll see all week.
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer,
"This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks,
"Which do you want, son?"
The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of an ice cream store.
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!"
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer,
"This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you."
The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks,
"Which do you want, son?"
The boy takes the quarters and leaves.
What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!"
Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of an ice cream store.
"Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?"
The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game's over!"
8.20.2007
north korea and al qaeda working together...this is bigger than i thought
The only way to find out your TPS
HAROLD AND KUMAR ARE BACK! (sometime in 2008, my guess is April 20th)
If business meetings were more like internet forums:
SNL Digital Short: Business Time featuring Rainn Wilson
HAROLD AND KUMAR ARE BACK! (sometime in 2008, my guess is April 20th)
If business meetings were more like internet forums:
SNL Digital Short: Business Time featuring Rainn Wilson
8.15.2007
gilberto do piento, your party is waiting for you
coolest trees ever
Celebrity Stuff:
Michael Vick's $63 billion lawsuit (see the hand-written lawsuit here)
Celebrities as kids
Why I love Anne Hathaway
Why I love Anna Faris
Why I love Bruce Willis
Celine Dion's gender-confusing son
Cindy Crawford's gender-confusing son
New Star Trek movie directed by J.J. Abrams, possibly starring this guy and this guy
Awkward Video of the Week
Dryer Prank Gone Awry
Celebrity Stuff:
Michael Vick's $63 billion lawsuit (see the hand-written lawsuit here)
Celebrities as kids
Why I love Anne Hathaway
Why I love Anna Faris
Why I love Bruce Willis
Celine Dion's gender-confusing son
Cindy Crawford's gender-confusing son
New Star Trek movie directed by J.J. Abrams, possibly starring this guy and this guy
Awkward Video of the Week
Dryer Prank Gone Awry
8.14.2007
8.13.2007
hey, what do you think is better: "jesus say relax" or "i'm too sexy for my lord"?
Links
Weirdest shit you'll ever see on Google Earth
I just can't get tired of giant robot movies
Apparently 50 Cent has been reading my letters
Videos
"Whatever bitch, get me a chicken sandwich and some waffle fries"
Minesweeper: The Movie
A young man is wandering around the zoo looking at the animals. He suddenly remembers about an appointment that he scheduled. Unfortunately, he forgot his watch. He searches for someone who could give him the time.
He sees a zoo keeper standing next to an elephant. "Excuse me, sir," says the young man "Do you know what time it is?"
The zoo keeper reaches under the elephant, grabs his balls and starts playing with them.
"Mmmmm, it is about 2:00," the zoo keeper responds.
The young man looks at him in awe, "How did you know that?" The zoo keeper looks back at the man, "I looked at the clock on the wall right behind you."
A college philosophy professor, who was known to be a bit of an eccentric, decided to have only one question on his final exam. The professor picked up his chair and set it down on top of his desk, and asked the class to write an essay proving that the chair did not exist.
After a few moments, one student stood up and handed in his essay.
The answer read, "What chair?"
HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.
The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
The student got an A.
Weirdest shit you'll ever see on Google Earth
I just can't get tired of giant robot movies
Apparently 50 Cent has been reading my letters
Videos
"Whatever bitch, get me a chicken sandwich and some waffle fries"
Minesweeper: The Movie
A young man is wandering around the zoo looking at the animals. He suddenly remembers about an appointment that he scheduled. Unfortunately, he forgot his watch. He searches for someone who could give him the time.
He sees a zoo keeper standing next to an elephant. "Excuse me, sir," says the young man "Do you know what time it is?"
The zoo keeper reaches under the elephant, grabs his balls and starts playing with them.
"Mmmmm, it is about 2:00," the zoo keeper responds.
The young man looks at him in awe, "How did you know that?" The zoo keeper looks back at the man, "I looked at the clock on the wall right behind you."
A college philosophy professor, who was known to be a bit of an eccentric, decided to have only one question on his final exam. The professor picked up his chair and set it down on top of his desk, and asked the class to write an essay proving that the chair did not exist.
After a few moments, one student stood up and handed in his essay.
The answer read, "What chair?"
HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT
The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry mid term.
The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:
Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?
Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following:
First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."
The student got an A.
8.12.2007
i am mclovin
"Penis Drawings": amazing unedited clip from Superbad, coming out August 17th
...and the R-rated trailer as well, just so you know how intensely incredible this movie will be.
...and the R-rated trailer as well, just so you know how intensely incredible this movie will be.
8.11.2007
8.09.2007
8.04.2007
8.03.2007
...her?
transformer shoes
Chris Hansen, host of To Catch a Predator, gets the tables turned on him by the Opie and Anthony show
An Opie and Anthony fan who saw the show gets busted by Chris Hansen with a bag of weed, and tells him how much he enjoyed Hansen's interview
Chris Hansen, host of To Catch a Predator, gets the tables turned on him by the Opie and Anthony show
An Opie and Anthony fan who saw the show gets busted by Chris Hansen with a bag of weed, and tells him how much he enjoyed Hansen's interview
8.01.2007
you're the man now, dawg
Women: Know Your Limits
Game of the week: Faceball
Ridiculously sweet new Mustang concept...thank you Italy
MY NEXT CAR
Game of the week: Faceball
Ridiculously sweet new Mustang concept...thank you Italy
MY NEXT CAR
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