p r o c r a s t u r b a t i o n: April 2008

4.30.2008

bros cannot make eye contact during a devil's three-way

You have to see this to believe it...remind me never to move to Austria.

Here's the story to go with it...I still can't completely understand how it's possible.

Cherry Blossom Timelapse at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden(explanation here)

The Bro Code: the brainchild of Barney Stinson, a.k.a. the Barnacle.

4.29.2008

keep the change, ya filthy animal

TOP 10 DAY

Top 10 Bird Moments in Sports

Top 10 Most Unsportsmanlike Moments in Sports

Top 10 Things You Don't Want to Hear in a Music Store, featuring Jack Black

Top 10 Things Peter Griffin Would Like to Say to Americans

4.28.2008

the cookie stands counts as an eatery, eateries are part of the food court

Ever guess what an abandoned hut in Antarctica would look like? Well, you're probably right.

Chuck Berry finally explains the inspiration for his famous song, "Johnny B. Goode"

The actor who might be responsible for the most movies on IMDb

Here's parts 1 and 2 of a corporate training video made in 1995 by South Park creators, writers, voices and geniuses Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Parker acts as the narrator for the piece. Guest stars include Sylvester Stallone, Michael J. Fox, Demi Moore, Steven Spielberg, James Cameron and Angela Lansbury(you best recognize Murder, She Wrote).
As explained by Filmdrunk, "Universal commissioned the video, so the story goes, after the studio was bought by Seagram’s and wanted to reassure people that, despite their new ownership, they would remain artist friendly."
Anyway, this video didn't get out until just now, and it's pretty frickin' hilarious. Definitely 10 minutes well wasted.

4.26.2008

saturday was actually a crazy night for me

HAHAHA little brothers are the worst..."This is a family video that will go down in history."

The Googlemobile can have disastrous side effects

What do you do when you find naked pictures of your best friend's girlfriend? My guess: the same thing as this guy.

4.22.2008

say, would you like a chocolate-covered pretzel?

COLLEGE PRANK DAY

Reach! A Lecture Musical

You never know when you'll get the call

Drinkin' Time, a personal favorite of mine

4.21.2008

don't mind the cat, she's just being loud because she's in heat

OK, this video troubles me for a number of reasons:
1. Parasites that infect insects and then grow out of their bodies Alien-style (narrated by Sigourney Weaver no less)
2. This is available in HD (Thanks Planet Earth)
3. These parasites appear to be the only thing preventing insects from taking over the planet
4. The parasites all specialize in one species...will humans be next?

Jeopardy! might have the sweetest outtakes of all time...I'll take "Drunk and Surly" for $800, Alex.

4.20.2008

get me an avocado, an ice pick and my snorkel

APRIL 20TH DAY

"Pot movies don't do terribly well in theaters, and yet on video they're wildly out of proportion to the theatrical gross. Our theory is that our audience is too stoned to leave the house."
- Jay Chandrasekhar

iCej85:
Kettering University student Will Foster builds fully operational half-size Panzer tank
iCej85: 420?
iCej85: my kind of tank

Come on down, you're the next contestant on The Price is Right!

Cop vs. Stoners: a 4:20 "parachute dash" at Fort Lewis College in Durango, Colorado.

Trailer for The Wackness, with what can only be described as a diverse cast (i.e. Mary-Kate Olsen, Method Man and Sir Ben Kingsley). This might be one of those movies that does better on DVD.

4.19.2008

as that was coming out of my mouth, i knew that it was wrong

For anyone who missed the epic movie Hook, here is a fantastic synopsis

Tech Deck (remember Tech Deck, the mini skateboards you rode with your fingers?) gets taken to a whole new level

4.17.2008

you're a towel

Soon to be America's newest and most dangerous sport...chain surfing! I can't wait for the news reports on this one.

41 hours trapped in an elevator...one of the best videos I've seen all week.

I'm too lazy to explain all this, so here's a series of links. Read them in order and you'll get the gist of the story.

The Legend of Uwe Boll

Uwe Boll: Money for Nothing

Uwe Boll is petitioned to quit making films
- The petition to stop Uwe Boll
- The petition to save Uwe Boll

Uwe Boll's Response to the petition:

Eli Roth's response to Uwe Boll
- Eli Roth's MySpace Page

4.16.2008

i'm not far from dragging you out of the car and beating you to dust

A butter knife is still a knife

Lost Generation

ABC reviews the PedEgg, which might have one of the grossest commercials of all time.

4.15.2008

do me a favor. don't call me 'rocket.'

"If you put that straitjacket on me, I'm going to pull your endocrine system out of of your body and make a hat out of it."
- Gary Busey

"Everyone knows Fridays are Straitjacket Day at Gary Busey’s house."
- Filmdrunk.com

4.14.2008

whatever! i do what i want!

My #1 reason for wanting a hamster

Penis Camouflage - a fun game that is also art.

So, Miley Cyrus does these YouTube videos with her best friend on a weekly basis or something, which I've heard can get a little weird. Well, if you ever wanted to see what would happen if the girls that taped themselves dancing to other peoples' songs would sound like if one of the girls was a mulit-millionaire, this video is right up your alley.
Here is Miley and her friend Mandy's remake of Madonna's "Four Minutes", which I personally enjoy more than the original (mostly because I don't have to watch Madonna struggle to stay in the spotlight and/or relevant).

From the video info:

M&M Cru with a U BATTLES Step Up 2

Starring: Milez with a Z and Manderz with a Z

Directed by:
Cole Walliser

Choreographer:
Teresa Espinosa

Produced by:
Alison Faulk
Teresa Espinosa

Additional Choreography:
Keeley Kaukimoce
Ashlee Nino
Aja George
Killafornia

Dancers:
Shonnie
Aja
Ashley Nino
Maryss from Paris
Keeley Kaukimoce
Katie Orr
Alison Faulk
Teresa Espinosa
DJ Angie Vee
Osea Kaukimoce
The Gayliens

B-Boys:
Steelo
Do Knock
Spee-d
Wonder
Energetic
Lil Rock
Crumbs
Lil Bob
Nabil
G-Wiz
Koncept
Peetthasho
Friction
RockSick
AngeliVex

B-Girl:
Shorty

Thank You:
Joel Viertel
Andreas Burgess
Mora Stephens
Cory Graves

Special Appearances by:
Channing Tatum
Jenna Dewan
Michael Pena
Popin' Pete
Mammie