if i find a penny in there... i'm taking you down

Here's a great skit by Eric O'Shea where he gives his song recommendations for today's commercials.



You may remember this guy from his previous YouTube fame in The Evolution of Dance.

If you haven't checked out Google StreetView, you're missing out. Here's a site with the top 15 Google Street View sightings. May I recommend this one in particular.

i love this moment so much i want to have sex with it

Got to see LTJ last night and was not disappointed. Here's my buddy Dylan with vocalist and guitarist Chris Demakes, to whom he introduced himself with the wonderful catch phrase "delicious to meet you":
And here's me making an ass of myself in the mosh pit (I'm the guy in the creepy gorilla stance):
In case you were wondering, yes, they closed with "Gainesville Rock City". And if you're asking yourself what song that is, shoot yourself in the face immediately and then download it afterward.

sometimes you just have to be the boss of dancing

I didn't think anyone was too dumb to serve a jail sentence until now. Paris Hilton made it 3 days until she had to be released for medical reasons, which as it turns out was a "stress-induced" HERPES OUTBREAK. I can't make this shit up, I'm not that creative. Seriously though, this story gets better, so read on.

Before even entering jail, she got owned by Sarah Silverman, and was overheard saying of Silverman, "She's a fucking bitch. I hate her." Nice comeback.

Oh yeah, and she got a cavity search. Owned.

So after being released, the plan was for her to finish her sentence in her Hollywood Hills home. Luckily, as it turns out there is a God, as well as a judge almost as cynical as yours truly.

Now, she's going back, first spending a few days at the luxurious Twin Towers medical facility (by luxurious, I mean it's a prison hospital). The best part was her screaming out "Mom! Mom!!" as she was escorted to the police cruiser.

Apparently, they will have to cancel the Paris Hilton release party they had planned for this weekend. Once again, I'm not making this up.

Check out the new background on my computer:


See, you soon, Nicole.

I know ms. pac-man is special. she's fun, she's cute, she swallows.

Less Than Jake, one of the greatest bands to come out of Gainesville, is coming back to their hometown tomorrow to play at Common Grounds. I'm getting my tickets this afternoon since they will probably be sold out tomorrow, so anyone who loves them as much as I do should grab a ticket while they can.

In an unsurprising turn of events, Paris Hilton is already out of jail after only 3 days in her own private jail cell due to a "medical condition", and now she's simply on house arrest. Please tell me she got at least one beating or gangraping before she was released. Enjoy applying Swarovski crystals to your new ankle bracelet.

A man appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

"Have you ever done anything of particular merit?" St. Peter asked.

"Well, I can think of one thing," the man offered. "Once, on a trip

to the Black Hills of South Dakota, I came upon a gang of bikers who

were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone,

but they wouldn't listen. So, I approached the largest and most heavily

tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, then kicked his bike over,

ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, "Now,

back off or I'll kick the shit out of all of you!"

St. Peter was impressed, "When did this happen?"

"Just a couple of minutes ago."

chip, i'm gonna come at you like a spider monkey!

current high score: 19,300

If anyone hasn't seen Knocked Up yet, do yourself a favor and buy a movie ticket, you will not regret it. It could easily be the funniest movie you will see all year, with the possible exception of Superbad in August. Do yourself another favor and check out the Superbad restricted trailer on their website, then you will understand how ridiculously funny this movie is going to be.

Also great: The Hater's Guide to Summer Fun, because I am Fla-Vor-Ice's biggest fan, enjoying one of their fine products as we speak.