you could be a part-time model, but you'd probably still have to keep your normal job

One of my new favorite shows this year has to be Flight of the Conchords on HBO. Combining music and comedy, on the show Jermaine and Bret are New Zealanders trying to make it big in the US, which they actually have been doing in real life. These guys have been doing stand-up for a while now, with a bunch of their stuff on YouTube. Here's a sample:

Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenoceros


The Humans are Dead


Albi (The Racist Dragon)


You're so Beautiful (from the show)

these aren't the droids you're looking for

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other, outside the operating room.
The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"
The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."
The first kid says, You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze."
The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"
The first kid says, "A circumcision."
The second kid replies, "Whoa, good luck buddy, I had that done when I was born. Couldn't walk for a year."

A woman in the bar says that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts.
Her husband tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery."
The lady asks, "How do I do it without surgery?"
"Just rub toilet paper between them."
Startled the lady asks, "How does that make them bigger?"
"I don't know, but it worked for your ass."

Get 'Em Dad

you see meg, you're what they call a 'practice girl'

Mortal Kombat!!!!

by gluing mini razor blades to this ordinary desk fan, i'll save time in my morning routine

First I hated the Black-Eyed Peas. Then I was forced to also hate Fergie's solo career. But now, I have to hate her even more? Seems that way. Candie's is paying her $4 million to promote their products in her music. Remember the good ol' days when she peed herself in concert? Ah, sweet nostalgia.

I Hate It When He Does That

it's essentially brokeback mountain from the point of view of the horses

Random amazing pictures:

Hand it over, Frosty


School is Closed


C5...Miss!


Bacon Dispenser


Bear Commuting


Meowchanic


Burger King of Comedy