p r o c r a s t u r b a t i o n: 2009

5.27.2009

hey, where are my snowballs? i was gonna go to the gym later, so i deserve a treat

I don't mean to tease you all (yes, all three of you) into thinking this blog posting thing is returning to its original regularity, I just thought I'd make better use of my Web surfing by sharing all of my incredible finds in this convenient format (wait a minute, wasn't that why I started this in the first place?). Anyway, here's what I've been watching today while avoiding work:

6 a.m. Watched "Coraline." Mind, consider yourself f***ed. Seriously though, way better than I would have imagined...reminded me of the kinds of movies I used to watch as a kid, except way better.

9 a.m. For some reason, Pitbull's recent concert does not remind me of the Bruce Springsteen video where he pulled Courteney Cox on stage. It's close though. (source)

11 a.m. Zach Galifianikis interviews the co-star of his upcoming movie The Hangover, Bradley Cooper...as only Zach G. can. (source) Note: beware of adult language and intense awkwardness.

2 p.m. Naturally, I wasted an hour reading a few pages of texts from last night.
Personal favorites:

(602): 69 |D_O
(1-602): wtf does that mean??
(602): it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you f***ing some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently'

(610): yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
(215): what does that even mean?
(610): you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.

(805): at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex f*** buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current f*** buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.

3 p.m. Nap.

5 p.m. Roommates have left for Vegas. Time to clean the apartment!

9 p.m. Need to kill some time before "Reno 911," so I thought I'd give FOX's new program "Mental" a go-around on Hulu. Conclusion: Dammit...it may be very "House"/"Lie to Me"-esque, but it still looks like I've got a new show to follow. At least now I've got a replacement for "Heroes," which I benched halfway through the season due to irreconcilable boredom.

9:45 p.m. Try again, Gilette.

10 p.m. Keyboard Gato.

5.26.2009

what everyone needs to do is calm down, take a deep breath, and prepare their bodies for the thunderdome

Yes, it's been a long time. Three months and seventeen days to be exact. Now I know this may surprise you, but the life of a journalist is not always as glamorous as the movies make it out to be. Much of my time is taken up by writing, editing, watching TV, snacking and morning/afternoon naps. So, it's easy to see how I've been so distracted as of late.

So what's been going on lately? Well for one, I might just be the youngest editor of a South Florida recreational magazine directed toward the 35- to 60-year-old demographic. I know - it's quite an accolade to say the very least. I also recently completed my first "commercial" Web site, in as much as it's not for self-promotion. It's called Theatre Orchestra of Florida, "a unique professional ensemble that presents high quality concert programs, specifically tailored to medium and smaller-sized performance venues."

Probably the most important reason I have returned should be plainly obvious to anyone who claims to know me - all the best shows on TV have recently celebrated their season finales. I suffered a huge blow this week upon discovering that CBS would not be continuing one of the best shows they have ever produced, The Unit. If anyone out there is as die-hard of a fan as I am, do us both a favor and head over here to petition its cancellation.

Luckily for TV addicts like me, there's always another "score" ready in the wings...with summer commencing, the family-friendly network programs that I know and love can now be replaced by R-rated cable shows like HBO's True Blood, returning on June 14, and Entourage, on June 12. The always gritty-but-incredible Showtime shows will be coming back as well (sort of)...Weeds start its 5th season on June 8, but my personal favorite, Dexter, as well as dark horse Californication are set to start up again in the fall.

Looking to buy a new video game? Well then may I recommend Prototype, which will guarantee to both knock your socks off and soil your shorts. Check out some gameplay footage if you don't believe me. Too lazy to leave the house? Here's a list of Flash games long enough to keep you occupied for the next three weeks.

Oh, and since this is an equal-opportunity blog, it would not be fair of me to leave out my thoughts on what the music world has to offer lately, so hear are my personal songs of the moment:

eminem - bagpipes in baghdad
stay wide awake
beautiful

mgmt - time to pretend

rock kills kid - paralyzed
life's a bitch

green day - east jesus nowhere

Well, that's way more than I planned on writing on one afternoon. I guess it's "back to the grind," as they say...though I'm not sure if that phrase applies when you're ordering Chinese.

2.09.2009

i'm a cool black guy

Pop culture drug references are all the rage

Newspapers are back! Starring a number of familiar actors. (source)

Is this real life?

The uncensored Natalie Portman rap has finally been released, and it is an absolute pleasure. Make sure to strap the earmuffs on the kids before pressing play. (source)