well, that one was a freebie

Links

My new reason for living

My new favorite Lindsay Lohan picture...make sure to scroll down

Hangover remedies

McDonald's menu items from around the world

Annoying clock

Black people love us!

Sweet new Dodge Challenger with unnecessary countdown

Ridiculous real life sea monsters

People with too much time on their hands

Videos

The Late Show hosted by Homer Simpson


Something a little more sentimental, this is a video about a cat with crazy legs


The original Super Mario racing


Crazy laser tricks

she turns illusions for money...tricks.

Anyone else already in love with VH1's new celebreality spin-off Rock of Love? Because I seriously think it has more potential than anything VH1 has ever produced. Here's the premise: Bret Michaels, lead vocalist for the rock band Poison, is put in a house with a couple dozen slutty rocker chicks who are all fighting for his affection.

Also, most of them are either strippers, alcoholics, gold-diggers, or in at least one lucky instance, short-lived internet porn stars.

Personally, I just can't wait for VH1 to pick the amazing star to complete this love trilogy. I'm thinking Dustin Diamond in Screech of Love.

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Fear the gay chicken

50 craziest celebrity baby names (personal favorite: Kal-El Coppola Cage)

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The Skittles Touch - the darkest/funniest Skittles commercial I've ever seen

he's out. and you're out, too. and i dont think i'm in either. no gang!

I know everyone is probably planning on seeing The Simpsons Movie over the next week, but don't forget about the movies without billion-dollar advertising budgets too, like the new movie Sunshine by the genius Danny Boyle(Trainspotting, 28 Days Later) . Find a theater where it is showing and check it out, I highly doubt you will regret your decision:


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Astronauts are the new pilots

Don't mess with Gainesville Panera managers

…and then your mommy said, 'just do it already!', which was very confusing to daddy, so i took the most literal translation

StumbleVideo: In Context by Field Music


Another amazing music video, this time it's You Are Boring the Shit Out of Me by The Hanslick Rebellion (thanks to Neil):


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The Ultimate List of Upcoming Movies (sequels in red):
the simpsons movie: tomorrow
sunshine:tomorrow
the bourne ultimatum: august 3rd
superbad: august 17th
rescue dawn: august 23rd
war: august 24th
halloween: august 31st
hatchet: september 7th
shoot 'em up: september 7th
mr. woodcock: september 14th
into the wild: september 21st
resident evil: extinction: september 21st
across the universe: september 28th
the assassination of jesse james by...: october 5th
hitman: october 12th
30 days of night: october 19th
dan in real life: october 19th
saw iv: october 26th
american gangster: november 7th
fred claus: november 9th
mr. moratorium's wonder emporium: november 16th
the mist: november 21st
leatherheads: december 7th
national treasure 2: december 21st
i am legend: december 14th
avp 2: december 28th
-----------------2008--------------------
the darjeeling limited: january 8th
fanboys: january 18th
be kind rewind: january 24th
strange wilderness: january 25th
the eye: february 1st
definitely, maybe: february 14th
jumper: february 15th
the spiderwick chronicles: february 15th
10,000 B.C.: march 7th
iron man: may 2nd
speed racer: may 9th
chronicles of narnia 2: may 16th
indiana jones 4: may 23rd
the incredible hulk: june 13th
get smart: june 20th
the mummy 3: july 11th

if something doesn't happen soon, i'm just gonna pack up my balls and leave

Wes Anderson, the guy who made The Royal Tenenbaums, The Life Aquatic, Rushmore and Bottle Rocket, has written and directed a new movie called The Darjeeling Limited. Starring Owen Wilson, Adrien Brody, Jason Schwartzman and supposedly Natalie Portman, this movie looks both completely ridiculous and possibly brilliant. It's coming to theaters January 8th. Here's the trailer:


A woman in her fifties is at home happily jumping unclothed on her bed and squealing with delight.
Her husband watches her for a while and asks, "Do you have any idea how ridiculous you look? What's the matter with you?"
The woman continues to bounce on the bed and says, "I don't care what you think. I just came from having a mammogram, and the doctor says that not only am I healthy, but I have the breasts of an 18 year old."
The husband replies, What did he say about your 55 year old ass?"
"Your name never came up," she replied.

pop secret? is oscar my real father?!?

CBS has once again proven that it has absolutely no taste in choosing quality programming (shut up CSI fans). Now what am I supposed to do on Thursday nights?

Related Stumble site of the day: Pirate Pick-Up Lines ( Arrrrrrrrrrre you free on Saturday?)

Beyonce decided to own herself on stage last night in Orlando, and she fell HARD. The videos that Sony hasn't already forced people to remove are just terrific, so check this one out while you still have a chance:

did doogie houser just steal my fucking car?

My new favorite prank: The Invisible Rope


Rejected WiiPlay games (personal favorite: WiiPii):


Got this from the Dad, it's a surprisingly witty Newt Gingrich using some great analogies to prove the inefficiency of our government.

when this all gets sorted out, i think you and me should get an apartment together

I spent a good half-hour reading this, and probably half the guys who take a look will do the same. This is a list of 100 female teachers who had sex with their students, pictures included. And let me tell you, some of these teachers should be getting awards instead of jail sentences. Others just deserve the jail sentence.

Favorites:
Amy McElhenny
Angela Comer
Carol Flannigan
Christine Scarlett
Deborah Reeder
Debra LaFave (clearly)
Franca and Antonia Munoz-Juvera
Joan Marie Sladky
Melinda Deluca
Nicole Long
Pamela Smart (clearly)
Rebekah Todd
Teresa Engelbach
Toni Lynn Woods

Need to learn some creative new ways to open a beer bottle? These guys will show you how it's done:


Breakfast of Champions

plus she's religious...if that one gets pregnant, it stays pregnant

Check out the ridiculously cool-looking trailer (in high definition) for 10,000 B.C., coming to theaters on March 7th.

Here's the crappier YouTube version for you lazy fucks too.


There were three men, Dave, John and Sam, who were involved in a tragic car accident in which all three died.
As they stood at the gates of heaven St. Peter came up to them and said, "You will all be given a method of transportation for your eternal use around heaven. You will be judged on your past deeds, and will have your transport chosen accordingly."
St. Peter looked at Dave and said, "You, Dave, were a bad man. You cheated on your wife four times! For this, you will drive around Heaven in an old beat up Dodge."
Next St. Peter looked at John and said, "You, were not so evil, but you still cheated on your wife two times. For this, you will forever travel around heaven in a Toyota station wagon."
St. Peter finally looked at Sam, and said, "You, Sam, have set a fine example. You did not have sex until after marriage, and you never cheated on your wife! For this, you will forever travel through heaven in a Ferrari."
A short time later, Jon and Dave pulled up in their cars next to Sam's Ferrari and there he is, sitting on the hood, head in hands, crying.
"What's wrong, Sam?" they asked. "You got the Ferrari! You are set forever! Why so down?"
Sam looked up, ever so slowly opened his mouth and cried, "I just saw my wife go by on a skate board."

yeah, she was adorable...fuckin' bitch

Inmate Thriller


Dating Service Video Gone Awry

i don't know if you heard me counting, i did over a thousand

Facebook Off, from the creators of Facebook and the movie Face/Off


Babies Eating Lemons


Falcor the Urinator, a parody of Trogdor the Burninator from Homestar Runner

digital gold cascades from our square bladders

Nesting, starring my roommate Jasper Casidino


Two blondes,Sally and Nicky, walk into a bar. They each order a drink, and sit down at a table.
They raise a toast, and start cheering, "51 days! 51 days!" After a few minutes, another blonde walks in, Beth, and joins the first two.
They again cheer, "51 days! 51 days!" A few minutes later, a 4th blonde, Melissa, walks in carrying a what looks like a cardboard picture.
She joins the other 3 girls, and toasts as well, chanting "51 days! 51 days!"
The bartender, who's extremely curious, wants to find out. He walks up to the girls and asks what the cheering is all about.
Sally holds up the cardboard picture, which turns out to be a 12 piece puzzle of the Cookie Monster, and says "Everyone says blondes are dumb. Well we proved them wrong! This puzzle says 2-4 years on the box, and we finished it in 51 days!"

neil, i wanna party with you!

Everyone who saw Transformers in theaters was also treated to something extra in the trailers, that being a new movie by J.J. Abrams coming out on January 18, 2008.

So far, the movie is being called "Cloverfield", though the official name is supposed to be released at San Diego's ComicCon, leading many to believe that this movie will be comic book-related.

For those that have not seen the trailer, here it is anyhow, and I guarantee most of you will go to see this, especially you Lost fanatics out there.


I gotta give Nick Lachey credit here, he certainly mastered the art form of avoiding an awkward question.

my uncle used to drive a ho-runner

Lifted, a new short film by Pixar


Trailer for Hitman starring Timothy Olyphant, coming out October 12th

ice on my fingers and my toes and i'm a taurus

I believe my response would be "Holy shit! A talking dog!"




This guy catches flies...much more interesting than you would think. The last 4 seconds are the craziest.

you obviously do not know who you are fucking with

I like turtles


An open letter from Michael Moore to CNN (anyone who has turned on a TV this week is aware of the current controversy)

Flatout: Ultimate Carnage, coming June 22nd to the Xbox 360

wake up bitch! you're my new best friend!

Ghostride the Volvo: Top 10 YouTube Videos of All Time


I accidentally found the original music video for the song, and it's worth watching as well (the Ghostbusters ambulance was a convincing factor):


And one last version:

what else am I supposed to do, stay here and learn?

Few times in life am I treated to a video as great as this. Dartmouth set the bar for YouTube submissions with this amazing prank on a college tour group, something all UF students can relate to this month. Watch it until the end, it just keeps getting funnier.

Drinkin' Time (Thanks to KP)

you could be a part-time model, but you'd probably still have to keep your normal job

One of my new favorite shows this year has to be Flight of the Conchords on HBO. Combining music and comedy, on the show Jermaine and Bret are New Zealanders trying to make it big in the US, which they actually have been doing in real life. These guys have been doing stand-up for a while now, with a bunch of their stuff on YouTube. Here's a sample:

Hiphopopotamus vs. Rhymenoceros


The Humans are Dead


Albi (The Racist Dragon)


You're so Beautiful (from the show)

these aren't the droids you're looking for

Two little kids are in a hospital, lying on stretchers next to each other, outside the operating room.
The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in here for?"
The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."
The first kid says, You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze."
The second kid then asks, "What are you here for?"
The first kid says, "A circumcision."
The second kid replies, "Whoa, good luck buddy, I had that done when I was born. Couldn't walk for a year."

A woman in the bar says that she wants to have plastic surgery to enlarge her breasts.
Her husband tells her, "Hey, you don't need surgery to do that. I know how to do it without surgery."
The lady asks, "How do I do it without surgery?"
"Just rub toilet paper between them."
Startled the lady asks, "How does that make them bigger?"
"I don't know, but it worked for your ass."

Get 'Em Dad

you see meg, you're what they call a 'practice girl'

Mortal Kombat!!!!

by gluing mini razor blades to this ordinary desk fan, i'll save time in my morning routine

First I hated the Black-Eyed Peas. Then I was forced to also hate Fergie's solo career. But now, I have to hate her even more? Seems that way. Candie's is paying her $4 million to promote their products in her music. Remember the good ol' days when she peed herself in concert? Ah, sweet nostalgia.

I Hate It When He Does That

it's essentially brokeback mountain from the point of view of the horses

Random amazing pictures:

Hand it over, Frosty


School is Closed


C5...Miss!


Bacon Dispenser


Bear Commuting


Meowchanic


Burger King of Comedy